you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
