so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
