Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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