no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
it's like heaven, but drunker
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just had sex on a roof
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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