Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
