I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
