I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Pants are for mortals
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
