I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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