Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
