I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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