Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.

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  (817): My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room. http://tfl.nu/adc5
  Replies (9) Good night (600) Bad night (2164)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.

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  (910): is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise. http://tfl.nu/ewvs
  Replies (40) Good night (2212) Bad night (1006)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?

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  (224): So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went? http://tfl.nu/eczc
  Replies (46) Good night (4521) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  it's love

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  (937): she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat. (1-937): it's love http://tfl.nu/getj
  Replies (16) Good night (4749) Bad night (844)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  stop calling my apartment porn island.

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  (678): stop calling my apartment porn island. http://tfl.nu/7ji0
  Replies (15) Good night (4979) Bad night (742)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.

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  (757): we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink. http://tfl.nu/2r69
  Replies (21) Good night (4855) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo

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  (704): Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/ot2w
  Replies (41) Good night (5789) Bad night (1777)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock

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  (713): I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock http://tfl.nu/svlq
  Replies (8) Good night (1205) Bad night (3381)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"

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  (870): he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs" http://tfl.nu/uf2c
  Replies (9) Good night (2607) Bad night (826)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet

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  (507): Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet http://tfl.nu/981y
  Replies (7) Good night (1195) Bad night (1295)
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  (716): View more from New York

  When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."

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  (716): When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex." http://tfl.nu/1pf1
  Replies (20) Good night (2792) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.

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  (570): I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk. http://tfl.nu/odgi
  Replies (5) Good night (1301) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life

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  (347): maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life http://tfl.nu/rmnc
  Replies (4) Good night (518) Bad night (1023)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.

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  (778): Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here. http://tfl.nu/7as8
  Replies (6) Good night (1646) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb

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  (604): I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb http://tfl.nu/i22g
  Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (305)

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