Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
