O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
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I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
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I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.