I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
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Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
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She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.