Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever. http://tfl.nu/ittj
  Replies (69) Good night (4752) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide http://tfl.nu/4asu
  Replies (7) Good night (639) Bad night (3441)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch." http://tfl.nu/35ko
  Replies (29) Good night (1238) Bad night (4573)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me? http://tfl.nu/7eei
  Replies (26) Good night (7020) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall http://tfl.nu/bqaz
  Replies (60) Good night (7277) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen http://tfl.nu/f9bs
  Replies (4) Good night (3876) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk. http://tfl.nu/1zna
  Replies (4) Good night (1407) Bad night (2585)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now. http://tfl.nu/h0mp
  Replies (9) Good night (2986) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin. http://tfl.nu/5byt
  Replies (6) Good night (1122) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love. http://tfl.nu/b9x6
  Replies (2) Good night (1625) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door? http://tfl.nu/hi0q
  Replies (7) Good night (1914) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today. http://tfl.nu/vvd3
  Replies (10) Good night (2222) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life. http://tfl.nu/c0aw
  Replies (6) Good night (409) Bad night (1649)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat http://tfl.nu/en4k
  Replies (4) Good night (676) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more. http://tfl.nu/fpyx
  Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (350)

Randomize