Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks

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(215): i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks http://tfl.nu/79xy

Replies (36) Good night (1365) Bad night (6055)
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(716): View more from New York

as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.

(1-716): View more from New York

momma always taught us never to change for a boy..

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(716): as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack. (1-716): momma always taught us never to change for a boy.. http://tfl.nu/3cjy

Replies (17) Good night (6561) Bad night (1399)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.

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(918): I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation. http://tfl.nu/6ld9

Replies (6) Good night (1033) Bad night (2842)
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(276): View more from Virginia

Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.

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(276): Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you. http://tfl.nu/pes1

Replies (7) Good night (2983) Bad night (1013)
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(989): View more from Michigan

his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.

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(989): his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/sm1y

Replies (19) Good night (4144) Bad night (1157)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.

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(616): Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death. http://tfl.nu/ogc4

Replies (9) Good night (2083) Bad night (573)
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(314): View more from Missouri

it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him

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(314): it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him http://tfl.nu/nis3

Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (1156)
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(415): View more from California

It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.

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(415): It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms. http://tfl.nu/erk3

Replies (9) Good night (2057) Bad night (504)
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(623): View more from Arizona

He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.

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(623): He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix. http://tfl.nu/za16

Replies (3) Good night (988) Bad night (514)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere

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(910): She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere http://tfl.nu/frtj

Replies (8) Good night (1749) Bad night (613)
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(818): View more from California

Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID

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(818): Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID http://tfl.nu/o6au

Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (748)
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(229): View more from Georgia

Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.

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(229): Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat. http://tfl.nu/64z4

Replies (15) Good night (528) Bad night (1169)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.

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(216): Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/m0rv

Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (285)
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(302): View more from Delaware

It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.

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(302): It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand. http://tfl.nu/1bjm

Replies (0) Good night (525) Bad night (159)
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(607): View more from New York

IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.

(1-607): View more from New York

You're such a supportive sister.

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(607): IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU. (1-607): You're such a supportive sister. http://tfl.nu/l5x7

Replies (4) Good night (617) Bad night (125)

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