So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dating After Heartbreak
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.