8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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