He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
