my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
