hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Are my feet made of real feet?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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