So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
