I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
