Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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