So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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