What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
