Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
