yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
