just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize