i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We're too hungover to prance.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
