okay pat passed out under dana's car
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
