you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this just has baby written all over it
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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