ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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