he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
