Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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