I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
