i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
