Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
