Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
