Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
3pm strippers are depressing
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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