how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
