She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
