I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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