I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
