look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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