Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
