he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize