you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
