we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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