look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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