I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
