its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
