Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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