Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
