Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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