wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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