Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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