Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
