Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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