smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize