i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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