I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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