Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
