i jhust puked up my retainher.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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