I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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