Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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