Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
