Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
