after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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