They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
