that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
