gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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