were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
