what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If I die, sorry about rent.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
