You really coming over, don't trick.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
