I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
