my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just cut my nipple shaving
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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