Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
